Sayings that mean nothing...

There have been many times when I've been told one thing or another and it means absolutely nothing to me in regards to he losses I've experienced. The following list are phrases that should be avoided when discussing a loss.

• I'm sorry.
• There is nothing you can do to bring a person back. You can't be sorry for something that you have absolutely no control over.
• I guess that would be harder than losing _____.
• Hopefully you will never know the difficulties that arise with a loss of great magnitude.
  
• God has a plan.
• While most of us will come to grips with our loss in our own time, many will be angry at God for taking their loved one away. It's great that you are trying to instill a positive message, but it really is not the appropriate time for that particular message.
• It's probably for the better.
• It doesn't matter the circumstances to any loss, experiencing a death and having someone leave your life isn't better for anyone.
• Just give yourself time.
• While those who have gone through deaths before know that the pain does get easier with time, someone experiencing it for the first time isn't going to believe that. The bereaved know what they are feeling at that moment in time and generally don't feel that the pain they feel will lessen at all.
• I understand.
• Unless you have personally experienced the same loss; please don't say that you understand. You may understand the general process of grieving; but you won't fully understand the grief that is being experienced today.
• It's just the cycle of life.
• If you are over the age of 6; it's common to know that all life must come to an end; but please don't state the obvious. Emotions run rampant, especially in the early stages of grief.
  

There are many more phrases I've experienced in my own life. Now that I've covered a few of those, let me give you a small piece of advise:

Allow the one who is grieving to express what they are feeling as the moment arises. If you knew the person who passed; share in fond memories of that person. Sharing and listening will give you a much stronger relationship bond with the bereaved. You might not know it, but that one thoughtful action could keep someone who is emotionally distraught in that manner from attempting suicide.

When you first hear of a loss, offer a welcomed hug and simply state "I'm here for you." and mean it.