I don't have the greatest past, and avoid contact with one person as he still leaves my skin crawling. He's passing through town and is making it blatantly obvious, with the numerous phone calls over the past four days, that he will be making his way here and will be stopping, no matter what reasoning I give him otherwise.
I am angry and frustrated. I don't like for people just to stop by at my home, and unless I want someone in my home, I don't appreciate them taking it upon themselves to find their way here.
So who is this person and why, if I really can't stand him, does he know my address and phone number?
This person would be my 'father.' Better described as the man who adopted me when I was eight, claims to be my father, yet still, somehow, likes to force himself into my life and cause disruption in any way possible.
The only reason he wants to stop by is to meet my other half, as Cheyenne is on his way to see his 'real' son in Indiana. He wants to stretch his fatherly thumb down when he's been far from an active part in MY life since about the time my mother passed away in 2001. For that matter, the last time he saw his grandson was the last trip I took to Evanston; when my younger brother had his first child over a year ago.
He's committed to being here sometime Wednesday afternoon and wants to take us out to dinner. Horray, said in a very sarcastic manner as I rolled my eyes.
So, I'm curious... Is it possible to change my phone number and move in two days?
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6 comments:
Mysti:
Father or not, I don't believe you're obligated to be around someone who makes your skin crawl. I know others would argue with me, but life is too short to hang around with emotional vampires.
Good luck, though, no matter what you choose to do! You're strong enough to handle the situation either way.
Angelique
What gets me more than anything, I turn back into the victim I used to be when he is around and I have an extremely hard time standing up for myself with him around. It's not a pretty site and really sends me through an emotional whirlwind with any thought of him being around.
Mysti:
That's definitely toxicity you want to avoid... what would happen if you didn't show up? How about dyeing your hair, moving to a new town, getting in the witness protection program...?
Seriously, I have faith that you'll do what you need to, and we'll all be here to support you no matter what choice you make! The blogosphere creates very strong bonds, and we all stick out for one another! :)
Angelique
He has my address and intends on just showing up. When he arrives, my house will sit in the disastrous mess that it has succumbed to (as I'm working on a very tight deadline and barely have time to shower), I will continue to work while he is here (as I said, a VERY TIGHT deadline) and when he wants to go out to dinner, I'll be lucky if I can step away long enough to do that.
He's going to be angry and irate, nothing new. When that occurs, I can kindly ask him to leave or I can blow up in his face. Either way, it's not going to be a pretty situation.
It's going to be a day...
HI Mysti, It's probably too late now, but in case it's not: I'd suggest either 1) pacifying him by saying you'll meet him out somewhere in public for lunch or breakfast, then keeping the discussion light and superficial, or 2) avoiding him altogether. If you want to avoid him, call him and firmly say NO before he comes, telling him you are not going to have time when he's in town. That might involve locking the door and not answering the doorbell while keeping the shades down if he insists on showing up anyway. Hopefully you can address all of this more conclusively in the future so that this doesn't keep happening when he's in town. And don't forget to tell us what happened. Many of us have been there to one degree or another.
HI Mysti, wish I had read this earlier, I can certainly relate. So what happened?
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