It's painfully obvious that I will have to return to the working force outside of my home at this point. With all that has transpired in recent days involving the lack of pay from the magazine, I have to seek out childcare and find a position elsewhere. I'm devastated.
I think I realized tonight just how important it is for me to be an active part of my son's life. He's loved having me home, even when I've been crabby and irritable with my stress levels as high as they were. I've enjoyed that time too, even though I've had moments where I've wanted to rip my hair out and beg for a moment of peace.
Can I tell you just how much I enjoy when he pops into the bathroom while I'm taking a shower and sits there to talk to me? Goodness, it's so awesome. Jaden is growing up so quickly, and I cherish each and every moment that I have with him. I don't want to lose those moments, and I will when I step out of the house and go work in a different building, leaving my son to be cared for by someone else.
Tomorrow begins the quest to find a position elsewhere. :(
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